This week’s Real World: Ex-plosion had a few guest stars, a few make-ups, and a whole lot of frustration (as usual). Will Jenna grow some balls? Will Hailey stay? Does Cory get more than one line on the show? Nope! Let’s go!
Last episode was the breaking point for every couple in the house, and with only three episodes to go, you had to know last night was gonna be all about reconciliation (it’s how narratives work). Tom’s identical twin brother Stephen flies in to visit the house, and I’m not so sure San Francisco is big enough for these two. I’m gonna need those onscreen name tags to tell these the twins apart.
More importantly, I really hate Jenny now. Since the departure of Ashley, Jenny has taken the mantle of being the trashiest and craziest in the house, and while I think it was wrong for Brian to hook up with another chick, hell hath no fury when it comes to emotionally insecure lunatics. She casually jabs a knife in his face while making a sandwich, and spends the entire episode wearing a big mental asylum smile. Oh, and she invites Ashley over to party on a whim. I understand that before going full throttle nuts, she needs a little guidance from the master, and a lot of validation for her bad behavior. They go to Vessel, which I think is the only club Ashley is still allowed into.
In the meantime, Jay is briefly off the leash, and like a horny dog, this one’s a humper. From the clubs to the bar, he’s picking up numbers like he’s Pat Sajak, while Jenna complains that he’s stepping out “while we’re breaking up.” Look, you’re either together or you’re not. That grey area is a disaster zone and at least Jay is avoiding it like the plague. In an effort to cheer up Jenna, Jenny says, “I’m real like Colby Cheese.” Very fittingly, Colby Cheese is actually no longer produced in its original namesake town of Colby, Wisconsin, so … Yes, she is exactly as real as Colby Cheese – LA double transplant, nobody knows where she's really coming from, but it ain't from where she's sayin’.
With three of the roommates gone, what is this, The Hunger Games?
At ze club, Stephen tells Jamie he approves of her (whatever), and Jay gets upset that Jenna is “dancing like I don’t exist.” Bro, you EXIST like Jenna doesn’t exist, get off your pony. Back at the house, drunk Jamie listens to a message left for her, but mistakes her own name for Jay’s and uses it as an opportunity to call him out after deleting the message. That shit is annoying, although totally warranted.
The moment Ashley leaves, Jenny (who is running on Trashley’s vibes and alcohol) begins some psychological torture on Brian, who I commend for keeping it cool as she gets in his face, licks his nose, and then repeats “get out of my face” some 200 times. After not getting a reaction, she throws a cup of water in his face and goes to fill up another, provoking Brian to knock the glass from her hand and shove her away. You can see the delight in her face; it’s sickening. The next day he brings up that he has childhood issues with his mom acting that way when she’d get drunk, something Jenny is well aware of. Brian on Jenny: “That bitch is demonic.”
Hailey ultimately decides to leave, which finally freaks out Tom, who in a roundabout way asks her to stay. Mad props to her for sticking to her choice – although with three of the roommates gone, what is this, The Hunger Games? On the other hand, Jay and Jenna nervously get back together. It's always a bad sign when you start making jokes about infidelity, but for the moment, Jenna is ecstatic about the title of “girlfriend,” which will crush her even harder when Jay cheats again.
Cory’s only words of wisdom: "It's a bad idea to stay friends with an ex – someone's gonna get hurt.”
The penultimate episode is next week, where we’ll finally get to see Brian snap from Jenny’s prodding. I know which team I'm: "Team Grow the Hell Up." See ya then!