In light of the epic matchup that will be the San Francisco 49ers facing off against the Seattle Seahawks in the NFC Championship Game this weekend, we thought we’d take a moment to compare the two cities and prove why the City by the Bay is clearly the winner, no matter who comes out victorious on Sunday. Let’s take a look…
1. Fast Food
We’ll start simple. SF: In-N-Out. Seattle: Dick’s Drive-In. Winner: SF.
2. Weather
Seattle has two seasons: winter and August. The beauty of Karl the Fog slowly rolling in over the city is better than non-stop rain any day of the week.
3. Tourist Attractions
San Francisco has Pier 39, a place where you can enjoy clam chowder in a famous Boudin bread bowl, ride a carousel, watch a man juggle fire, and hang out with a raft of sea lions. Seattle has Pike Place where grown men throw dead fish at each other.
4. Coffee
Sure, Seattle has Starbucks, which was founded there in 1971, but if you’re looking for an even older coffee chain, try Peet’s, which originated in 1966. Don’t worry. We don’t mind a good copycat.
5. Search Engines
Do you Google things or do you Bing them? What’s that? You need to Google “Bing?”
6. Real World
Seattle’s Real World is famous for a guy who stole a girl’s stuffed animal and then slapped her in the face. San Francisco’s is known for Pedro, a gay man with AIDS who humanized the disease for many and brought it international attention.
7. Movies
Which movie would you rather watch: Sleepless in Seattle or Basic Instinct?
8. Known for
SF: Burritos. Seattle: Baristas.
9. Nerds
Steve Jobs > Bill Gates.
10. Landmarks
San Francisco has the majestic Golden Gate Bridge. Seattle’s most famous landmark is the Space Needle. Nothing says “inferiority complex” like a huge phallus towering over your city.
11. World Series
San Francisco has two World Series rings. The Seattle Mariners are one of only eight MLB teams to never win even a single one. Like ever.
12. Professional basketball teams
The Bay Area* has the Golden State Warriors. Seattle has… oh wait. NOTHING. Their team fled to Oklahoma City rather than stick around Washington State.
13. Natural disasters
Seattle makes man-made earthquakes in their stadium. We have real ones in ours!
14. Zoo animals
Seattle wanted to honor Seahawks’ player Marshawn Lynch, so they named a hermit crab in their aquarium “Marshawn Pinch.” That’s super adorbs. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get literally crushed by the Brandon Belt giraffe or Boone, the rhino (named after 49ers’ lineman Alex Boone) at the San Francisco Zoo.
15. Super Bowl bragging rights
SF: 5 Super Bowl Rings. Seattle: Zero.
16. NFC Championship Game
Finally? Seattle needs 12 men to win games. SF does it with just 11.
And with that said: GO NINERS! Beat the Hawks!
Photo by Spondyloithesis via Thinkstock
Editor's note: This was changed from "San Francisco" to "Bay Area."