Olivia Kingsley: Today, I’m sitting down with two infamous fixtures in San Francisco: State Bird Provisions Line and Bi-Rite Creamery Line. Thanks for taking a moment to sit down and chat.
State Bird Provisions Line: It’s a pleasure to take some time to speak with you.
Bi-Rite Creamery Line: I’m literally made out of time.
OK: State Bird Provisions Line…
SBPL: Please, call me Guy.
OK:Guy?
SBPL: I don’t like to get confused with the restaurant, and “State Bird Provisions Line” is hard to fit on a business card.
OK: Bi-Rite Creamery Line?
BRCL: I prefer Raúl, but if you want to know my Playa name, I’ll tell you off the record.
Guy (SBPL): You would be a burner.
Raúl (BRCL): You would go by Guy.
OK: Moving right along--you two are just two lines of many, many lines in San Francisco, but you’re the first to speak out publicly. Do you feel you can speak for the rest?
Guy: Oh, no, no. We’re all made up of completely different people. For example, Powell Street Cable Car Line is completely different from Zazie’s Line…
Raúl:…which has a totally boring, hungry vibe compared with Some Thing at The Stud Line. Bird poop’s right.
OK: How do you feel about the Man Lines Tumblr?
Raúl: I mean, thank god someone brought that up. Sometimes I’ll talk to other lines –not naming any names, here – but they tell me how sick and tired they are of being a nonstop sausage fest.
OK: Raúl, I’d say you’re a little more diverse.
Raúl: Oh yeah. If you kick it with me, you can play with dogs, you can bring your kids, you can eye-flirt with people walking by--I’m an activity in and of itself. And ice cream only costs like five bucks.
OK: Guy?
Guy: Allow me to say that my clientele is of high caliber, and uninterested in dogs intruding upon their dining experience.
OK: Raúl, please try to not roll your eyes so aggressively.
Guy: I’d also like to mention that I’m not even a LINE, per se. State Bird Provisions allows its patrons to wait anywhere they like. The host will text you when your table is ready. So I’m more of a spirit than a line.
Raúl: Cool, bro. I’ve got stanchions. They’re SICK!
OK: I have to admit that most of our readers are probably thinking, “I hate lines. This city has too many of them, and they’re all over the place.” Do you guys feel misunderstood sometimes?
Raúl: Constantly! All I wanna do is party with people, and they take one look at me and think, “...nah.”
Guy: I didn’t ask to be born.
OK: Well. This seems like a good time to wrap things up. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.
Raúl: No problem, dude.
Guy: It’s fine. Everyone always leaves me in the end. Go! Enjoy your dinner!
OK: I will.
Photo by sxates via Flickr