I’ve been sneaking candy, soda, and takeout into movie theaters since I was a kid. I even once mixed martinis (sans ice) while watching a second-run flick. So if I’m not bringing in my own concessions, the theater either has to be really serious about security or have better options than what I can get at the cheaper corner store down the street.
I set out to rate San Francisco’s movie theaters – not on the size of their screens, the comfort of the chairs, or the quality of their sound, but on what really matters: the food.
The Red Vic is an oasis of calm on the otherwise chaotic Haight Street. With its soft, cushioned pews perfect for cuddling up with your date (sadly, I was going solo this evening) and its constantly changing calendar of indie films, the Red Vic is enough to make me brave Haight Street.
I rolled into the Red Vic as excited about its food selection as I was to see the film. It serves organic popcorn in real wooden bowls, just like Mom used to do. What really sets the Red Vic apart, though, is its selection of scrumptious toppings, including soy sauce, lemon pepper, cayenne, and nutritional yeast. The combination made me nostalgic for Sunday night movies at my hippie co-op college house. The Red Vic scores high on both taste and ethics.
Most of its concessions are locally made or owned: vegan cookies, organic sodas with fun flavors like blackberry, and it serves De La Paz coffee, one of my favorite local roasters. The Red Vic doesn’t have a bar like the Kabuki, but with Alembic next door, you can get the finest Manhattan in the city, and follow it up with the best popcorn and coffee at the cute upper Haight theater. High points all around! I would definitely not sneak any food in here.
The Embarcadero Center Cinema isn’t really an indie theater like the other spots on my list but I heard rumors of vegan hotdogs at the concession stand, so I made my way to the open-air mall at 1 Embarcadero in search of said dogs. And it turns out the rumors are true! The Embarcadero offers four varieties of vegan sausages (regular, Polish, bratwurst, and Italian) locally made by Underdog.
The vegan dogs seem oddly juxtaposed to the rest of the Embarcadero’s choices, which are standard in any big chain theater. But then again, as a Landmark theater, mixing typical fare with indie flair is their M.O. To my disappointment, the whole thing (bun and all) is just microwaved by the attendant – no slow roasting here. If you want the real deal, head to Underdog’s shop in the Inner Sunset.
The only other items on its menu worth mentioning are the Mighty Leaf tea selection and unique candies, which include chocolate-covered almonds and Pocky sticks. The Embarcadero is the only theater where I saw gummy bears, and to my delight they were fresh and delicious. The theater also offers espresso drinks, but since you’re already down at 1st Street, save your coffee cravings for Blue Bottle at the Ferry Building.
The Roxie Theater is one of my favorite Mission spots. Maybe because it’s only a few steps from my house, maybe because I’ve come to love the lumpy chairs as much as I love my own couch, or maybe because the theater is continually packed with cinephiles like me. The Roxie always delivers the new indie picks, and often the directors are there for Q&As. Tonight’s Frameline flick was no exception.
As for food, there’s nothing too extravagant on the menu, but the popcorn is made with real butter and the Roxie offers spices in Wild Turkey airplane liquor bottles to appeal to the hippie (or drunk) in all of us – nutritional yeast, cayenne, and, as the attendant referred to it, “something else spicy.”
I recommend the medium or large popcorn if you want the spices because the small isn’t large enough for your hand to evenly mix them all up. And as any hippie kid learns early on, butter and nutritional yeast make for messy hands, so it’s best to just give the full bag a good shake. The drinks are your usual soda collection, but organic hot teas are also offered.
As far as candy goes – and isn’t that what movie food is really about? – the Roxie’s sugary goods are beautifully and obsessively arranged in a glass case, but the offerings are less exciting than the presentation. The Roxie stores the Junior Mints in the freezer and are, according to the attendant, the only ice cold thing in the theater, other than “his heart.”
Many of my favorite San Francisco movie-going experiences revolve around the Castro Theatre. The organist plays a mean Indiana Jones theme song, does Alice in Wonderland’s “Merry Unbirthday” better than the original, and the acoustics in the place are perfect for The Sound of Music sing-alongs.
You go to the Castro for the film fests, the beautiful deco design, and the organ player. You don’t go for the food. The popcorn is organic, which is nice. And made with real butter. It sells locally made Kitten With A Whisk cookies, a company with tasty treats that stocks most of the local theaters, including the Roxie.
I shared a still fresh ginger cookie with Javier, a blue-haired Castro staffer, who seemed confused as to why anyone would care that much about movie theater food. Despite the cookie’s plastic wrapper, it was far better than ordinary movie theater sweets. If you ask real nice you might even get Javier to heat it up for you, making the treat on par with Hot Cookie up the street. Just like the Roxie, the Castro is cash only (and slightly more expensive) so be sure to bring at least $12 for a large popcorn, soda, and cookie for your date.
After three days of popcorn, I was desperate for some food with sustenance. If other theaters are like taco trucks, Sundance Kabuki is a four-star restaurant. It’s more dinner and movie rolled into one. If you think of the food as movie theater food, you’ll be blown away; think of it as real dinner and you might be disappointed. My girlfriend and I ordered the wild mushroom pizza and Caesar salad. The mushrooms were exotic and nearly on par with the fungi pizza at Beretta. Nearly.
The fancy mixed drinks at the Kabuki are the reason to come to this Japantown theater, and worth the $2 surcharge. Unlike the food, which is served in to-go containers (fully biodegradable), the drinks are served in real glasses, which you take in to select auditoriums. With a top-shelf selection on par with any nice bar, you can definitely get your drink on before, during, and after the movie. And while the Kabuki is slightly more expensive than some bars (about $12 for drinks), it’s worth it for the luxury of sipping a fine drink while kicking back in the ridiculously comfy rocking seats.
My Maker’s Manhattan was made to perfection (and strong!) but my girlfriend gave her Cazadores Margarita a B-minus for the overly sweet but fresh mixer. The Kabuki regularly has drink specials to accompany its big movies – Sex and the City 2 elicited a series of girly vodka drinks, including a Mr. Manhattan for all the “Big” enthusiasts.
The downstairs concession stand offers the usual popcorn, sodas and, candy. But even that has a fancier kick. You can get organic sodas from the case, as well as an array of fresh-baked treats like the chocolate brownie, which pairs nicely with the gourmet ice cream. All the food containers at Kabuki are compostable. If you do bring your own food, pack it in, pack it out. It says as much on the trash cans.
After three days of eating my way through the city’s theaters, I’m stuffed, bloated, and in desperate need of healthy food. I’ve seen more movies in one week than I have all year, and I’ve eaten my month’s fill of sweets. So I end my theater goodies tour with a stop at the farmers market, where I will not buy candy, cookies, or anything made with corn.
Want to eat your way through the city’s theaters? Start at the Roxie on a Monday for $5 tickets and enjoy its real butter and nutritional-yeast-covered popcorn. The Kabuki is my top pick for fancy food and drinks. Right now, it has a Toy Story 3 drink special made with Kool-Aid, if you dare to try it. Visit the Red Vic for its stellar spices and local, organic treats. Head to the Embarcadero Center Cinema for the vegan dogs, gummy bears, and Pocky sticks.