By Wendy Steiner
If Drake songs are any indication of the prevalence of trust issues these days, we're all in trouble. But maybe trust issues aren't all bad. In defense of never believing in anyone ever, there's a lot of reasons to be cynical that things may not be what they seem – especially in San Francisco. Here are five examples of things in this marvelous city that you just can't trust.
1. Muni
I appreciate that Muni gets me where I need to go most of the time, but when NextBus says a bus is coming in three minutes and one doesn't show up for 21, I lose those 18 extra minutes AND a year off of my life expectancy due to sheer rage.
2. Tectonic plates
A quake is coming people... eventually! We live in a city where we can't even trust that the ground is going to be where it's supposed to. If you haven't already prepared, get ready goddamnit.
3. Housing
If you're living somewhere built after 1979 without rent control, or if you have one of the many shady living arrangements with no real legal recourse, or if you're foolish enough to attempt moving, your rent is going to change. Stories of rent increases, housing loopholes, and evictions should rightfully scare the bejesus out of you and have you doubting how much you can trust the permanence of where you're living.
4. Job Titles
You know how people say never trust a man with two first names? (People say that.) You should actually never trust any with two job titles. San Francisco seems to have a lot of people with long and creative job titles, like customer happiness fluffer guru. Don't let those schmucks fool you, they hate their jobs just as much as you, probably more.
5. Weather
I know that many people find San Francisco's finicky weather to be charming, but maybe I don't want to carry a light jacket every day. There. I said it. Sometimes I imagine how nice it would be to leave my apartment without a backup jacket and the confidence that the city's climate isn't going to fluctuate wildly within the next few hours. Stupid, beautiful natural phenomenon.