Hello, and welcome to Ask Ted Wilson, my weekly advice column where readers ask me questions about absolutely anything, and I tell them what to do. If you have a question you would like answered please write to me at iamtedwilson@gmail.com or leave me a voicemail at (617) 379-2576. I hope to hear from you soon!
Dear Ted,
I have been in the social work field for about three years now. I've recently been working as a therapist at a school for children with learning and behavioral disabilities. I'm young and relatively new to this specific job. I feel like I'm not treated as if I know what I'm doing. It's difficult enough already with the population berating me and physically assaulting me, but when the staff treats me like I'm one of the kids it becomes very disheartening. I'm already trying to get another job, but sometimes I think this is all I can get in this field. And at this point I don't think I'm even capable of starting to learn in a completely different field.
Should I start somewhere fresh or just grin and bear it until I get a position that doesn't make me question the point of existence?
Sincerely,
Quarter-life Crisis
Dear Crisis,
Your predicament sounds really tough. Not being recognized for one’s abilities is always disheartening, especially when it’s for something as selfless and emotionally taxing as social work. I applaud you even if no one else does. Throughout history there have been very talented individuals who only receive recognition posthumously. Van Gogh, of course. Also my uncle Wyatt. No one appreciated his knot-tying abilities until after he hanged himself.
The key to your situation is to find what makes you happy. Some people find happiness in their careers while others find it in their families. Lonely and less-skilled people find it in things like model trains or comic books. As someone who is driven to connect with people, I suspect family is where you might find your true happiness. Once you have that in place, your job won’t matter so much.
If you don’t have a family of your own, I would recommend getting a woman pregnant. An impending birth may be just the distraction you need. If you already have some kids, have some more. There’s nothing that will drive you like having another mouth to feed. Or so I hear. I’m pretty sure I never had kids of my own but I’ve met a lot of kids and they always seem to be hungry. Especially babies.
This solution still requires a nine-month waiting period. Whenever I encounter something I don’t want to do, I try to avoid it by going to sleep. Chances are, everything will be over by the time I wake up.
Nine months is a long time to sleep, but my thinking is that if bears can hibernate, humans probably can too. We’re not that different. It would be worth it to at least give it a shot. You’ll never get anywhere in life if you don’t at least try. So, once you’re sure you’ve gotten someone pregnant, eat a big meal and go to sleep. See how long you can stay asleep for. If you can make it nine months they’ll go by in a flash.
Chloroforming yourself is a good way to jumpstart things if you’re not tired.
When you wake up, try not to be too freaked out by your long fingernails and crazy looking hair. Definitely don’t scream when you see yourself in the mirror because you might scare the baby.
Just as you don’t know whether or not you can hibernate without trying, the same is true for pursuing a new job or career path. You can do anything you want regardless of how possible it seems. You just have to try.
Your Friend,
Ted