By Broke-Ass Stuart
San Francisco has fostered a long love affair with whiskey. It was both the cause of and the solution to people’s problems during the Barbary Coast days. In fact, while much of the city burned to the ground in 1906, San Francisco’s brave firemen saved A.P. Hotaling’s warehouse, the West Coast’s largest whiskey repository, from succumbing to the Great Conflagration. In a response to all the holy rollers saying that God had smitten San Francisco for its wicked ways, the very clever local poet Charles Field wrote:
If, as they say, God spanked the town
For being over-frisky,
Why did he burn the churches down
And save Hotaling's whiskey?
Sure, San Francisco may be known for its love of pot, but at its core the city has always been a drinking town, and whiskey arguably its favorite flavor. Because of this we are celebrating all the fine establishments that make it easy for us to get our vitamin W. And while we’re at it, let’s raise a glass to the SFFD for prioritizing the important things in life.
The Alembic
1725 Haight St. between Cole and Shrader Streets
An incredibly bright spot in the otherwise drab Upper Haight nightlife scene, the Alembic has become a destination for whiskey lovers in the city. With a mountainous-sized selection, including some whiskeys that are $100 a shot, the Alembic even has eight vatted whiskeys on its list.
churchill
198 Church St. at Market St.
I don’t know if Winston Churchill was a whiskey man, but the bar named after him certainly is. This WWII canteen-themed watering hole features a different whiskey each week and has a list big enough to please any GI coming back from the war against sobriety.
whiskey thieves
839 Geary St. at Hyde St.
Given that the surrounding neighborhood is more closely associated with Mad Dog 20/20 and crack cocaine than it is Buffalo Trace, the whiskey selection at this Tenderloin dive is truly astounding. Your best bet for exploring new whiskeys is getting the weekly whiskey special.
Rye
688 Geary St. between Jones and Leavenworth Streets
Any place that names itself after a particular kind of booze better come correct, and Rye certainly does. While it doesn’t have the filibuster-length whiskey menu like some of the other spots, it makes up for it by having brilliant cocktails with very clever names.
Bourbon & Branch
501 Jones St. at O’Farrell
San Francisco’s original speakeasy-style bar completely changed the drinking landscape when it opened in 2006. Suddenly cocktails with fresh fruit juice and lots of fancy ingredients became all the rage in SF. But what B&B also brought to the table was a magnificent list of rare and special whiskeys, including a bottle of Glenmorangie Margaux Finish Scotch, of which there are only 1,200 in the U.S.
hard water
Pier 3, the Embarcadero
Looking like a cross between a stevedore’s clubhouse and a fancy restaurant, the sparsely decorated Hard Water has plenty to drink that’s far harder than water. Its whiskey list is immense and includes a 25-year-old Michter’s Rye that goes for $150 a shot. Pair that with some oysters or braised rabbit and you’ll be the fanciest stevedore the club has ever seen.
Cask
17 Third St. near Market St.
Owned by the same people who brought you such legendary bars as Bourbon & Branch, Local Edition, Tradition, and Rickhouse, Cask is a booze aficionado’s paradise. This is not a regular corner store selling hobo wine and Slim Jims (though there is a time and a place for those things too) – no, Cask trades only in artisanal and handcrafted spirits. Its whiskey selection is unimaginably large. It will fill you with glee.
bloodhound
1145 Folsom St. at 7th St.
The closest thing you’ll find to a hunting lodge in San Francisco, Bloodhound has a fantastic cocktail program that’s heavy on the whiskey. And whiskey goes with hunting, right? I actually don’t know because I live in San Francisco.
Nihon whiskey lounge
1779 Folsom St. at 14th St.
Purportedly having one of the largest single malt whiskey selections on the West Coast, Nihon is kinda like a modern-day Hotaling, if Hotaling served tasty Japanese food and gave customers private lockers for their personal bottles. OK, it’s not really like Hotaling at all, but well, you know … it has lots of whiskey!
Armory Club
1799 Mission St. at 14th St
Beautifully appointed with Victorian charm and the coolest looking bar top you’ve ever seen (it’s back-lit amber onyx!), Armory Club is owned by BDSM porn company and kitty-corner neighbor, Kink.com. While much of the art on the walls depicts painful looking sex acts, whiskeys like the 21-year Macallan Fine Oak single malt promise not to bite.
Dear Mom
2700 16th St. at Harrison St.
Owned by the same folks as Whiskey Thieves, this Mission District meat market has a surprisingly wide selection of whiskeys to choose from. Plus, it has a stellar kitchen to pair your imbibe-ables with. Make sure to tip everyone here generously – they have to put up with some real bullshit.
southpaw bbq
2170 Mission St. between 17th and 18th Streets
Southpaw is cooler than you because it has a “whiskey book” detailing its many drinkables. Do you have one? I didn’t think so. The best part of Southpaw’s love affair with whiskey is that it has rotating flights of whiskey to help you try them all. And, once you try 40 of them, you get a bottle of your favorite one! That’s Southern hospitality.
anchor distilling
1705 Mariposa St. at Carolina St.
Magic is being made in the basement of the Anchor brewery. Considered the pioneers of American craft distilling, this group of mad scientists (ahem … distillers) creates a few beautiful small batch spirits, including Old Potrero Whiskey. Unfortunately, though, you can neither tour the distillery nor buy the product here. Luckily, you can find it in many of the fine establishments on this map.
broken record
1166 Geneva Ave. at Edinburgh St.
Ever since opening in 2007 the Broken Record has been continuously considered one of the best dive bars in San Francisco. Despite being located in what is basically the hinterland, the Record is a destination for fans of both good booze and general fuckery. The whiskey list is immense (it has four on tap!), there are a multitude of games to play (including beer pong), the staff is awesome, and the kitchen is famous. What more could you ask for in a dive bar?
seven stills
At the start of 2013, two friends came together to form the craft distillery Seven Stills. While the only product that’s gone to market so far is their California Courage small batch vodka, the boozing community is excitedly awaiting the release of some kind of whiskey… any kind of whiskey…just give us some whiskey dammit!! Ahem, as I mentioned, I like whiskey. (Follow their Facebook page for updates.)
Pick up an exclusive San Francisco Whiskey Map poster, designed by Western Editions for The Bold Italic, here. 
