Fellow San Franciscans, we will put our umbrellas to good use this weekend. But no one wants their eyeball on a skewer just because the person next to them doesn't have enough experience holding pointy objects. We are a compact city, and rainy days only reinforce that fact. So to help us all get along during this rainy stretch, we are reminding all San Franciscans about the finer points of umbrella operation. Feel free to add to these suggestions in the comments section, and to share with possible umbrella offenders.
Don't
Open your umbrella the second you step outside. As with crossing the street, it's important to look both ways first to assess the proximity of oncoming (foot) traffic.
Treat the umbrella stand at your favorite restaurant like a "free pile," likewise, don't upgrade your umbrella with a shiny new number from said umbrella stand.
Leave your broken umbrella on the sidewalk; it's not a tumbleweed.
Close your umbrella while you're on Muni, close it before you get on; your fellow passengers don't need your bad luck.
Hold your umbrella pokey side up on public transportation.
And really don't leave your wet umbrella on the bus seat; no one wants to plop down onto your puddle.
Rub the back of the stranger who just offered to share an umbrella with you.
Do
Offer to share your umbrella with someone getting drenched.
Shake your umbrella before walking into a business or onto the bus.
Look around before shaking your umbrella.
Be size appropriate with your umbrella, just because you own the parachute-sized one doesn't mean you have to use it.
Move to the edge of the sidewalk and pop your umbrella higher and lower than others' umbrellas as they walk past you.
Be mindful of taller pedestrians, an umbrella 6' off the ground is protection for you but a threat to others' eye safety.
Order magazines that come with free umbrellas during dry months (planning ahead!)
Allow your umbrella to dry out when you are home so it doesn't make things all moldy.