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An Expert's Guide to Napping on Public Transit

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We're all so busy all the time. You wake up, go to the gym, go to work, go out with friends, day in and day out in this city. It's wonderful here but it's also exhausting. How are we to work like functioning adults and play hard like kids if we're tired all the time? The answer, my friend, is to sleep on public transit. Studies show that a few minutes of power napping can in fact recharge you and leave you looking fresh as a daisy in no time.

So, as someone who has caught some z's on all forms of transit in this city (save maybe ferry boats and the rickshaw guys) here are some tips to follow.

Be one with the bus

Hands down the best part of sleeping on transit, especially BART and Muni, is the sounds. Rest your head against the window pane and BAM you're sleeping in a giant white noise machine! Eschew your earbuds because a) it's unsafe to be that unaware and b) without them you're free to listen to the dulcet lullaby of air whooshing through tunnels. Hell if you're going to Oakland you can pretend you're napping underwater like a god damned mermaid. Sleep good little mermaid, sleep good.

Sleep with the driver

More or less. You're safer in general the closer you are to the front of the vehicle because the driver kind of has a sense of what is going on around them. Pick a spot near the front and dream away.

Don't nap-block someone

You work really hard, you're a nice person, and gosh darn it people like you. You definitely deserve a cat nap but the person sitting next to you also deserves to go about their merry way unhindered by your sleeping ass. Always nap on either a window seat or one of those side facing seats so that no one is blocked by you. And if you get the special jackpot Muni that has those single window seats you might as well get your passport out because you're about to enter Ultimate Nap City, population: you.

Your bag is your teddy bear

Or wubby or Japanese anime body pillow or whatever: hold that sucker close. Make sure a) your phone is buried deep in your bag and b) the bag is somehow attached to you. I like to wrap my purse strap around my chest and clench the bag part between my knees and hunch over it, as if to say, "If you steal this you better steal me too, punk!"

Don't sleep with strangers

And by that I mean strange routes. If you're going to chance some shut-eye make sure you do it on bus routes you know by heart. I swear to this day I can get on BART at any station, totally knock out, and wake up the second we hit the San Bruno platform (I used to work there so I know it like the back of my eyelids). You need to train yourself to wake up automatically when your stop comes or face the terror of being stranded at the end of the line.

No spooning

Never ever sleep on another person. As a recipient of a stranger bus spoon I can tell you, it's awkward. Luckily mine was a benign hipster dude but still I spent a good few minutes awkwardly trying to shift my shoulder out from under him. The only people you're allowed to sleep on are people you know and like. Though really I have a feeling we'll see an app soon where a good looking person can be summoned via phone to be your bus nap concierge. May they have soft shoulders and the sense to wake you gently before your stop.

Sleep well sweet princes and princesses, dream of bullet trains, taquerias that accept cards, and poop free sidewalks.

Image via Flickr user, Jeffery Bennett

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