San Francisco doesn’t get nearly as inundated with nativity scenes as the places where a lot of us grew up. Whether you’re totally fine with that or missing them with some nostalgic, manger-based FOMO, we’ve put together what an SF version might look like, illustrated by Jon Stich.
Baby Jesus = Baby burrito. (Comes pre-swaddled! And really, a burrito has been most of our saviors on many a night.)
Mary = Drag Queen
Joseph = Lumbersexual
Three Wise Men = A naked guy, a Muni driver, and Frank Chu
Gold, frankincense, and myrrh = Queso, morning bun, and joint.(An S-zone parking permit would have been a good offering, in hindsight.)
Angels = The Brown Twins (RIP)
Camel, sheep, donkey, and doves = Bison, Corgi, sea lion, and pigeons
Also, the stable is an Airbnb, and the North Star is an iPhone. (Although, considering the issues with the recent versions of Google Maps, it’s a Christmas miracle that they even found the place.)