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Even More Reasons Not to Have Kids

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Whenever my mom calls me an old maid I just laugh and agree. I'm in my 30s, unmarried, and I don't have kids. Check, check, and check. To a person like my mom who still uses the phrase "old maid," I am the epitome of that dried-up dairy cow that's about to be taken out to pasture. But you know what? I'm also pretty damn happy! I live with the love of my life and three awesome pets and enough friends that I'm picky about making more. A marriage license and a litter of spawn are the last things I need. And living in the Bay Area, I know I'm not alone.

Today's Gawker's post "Studies Confirm: Kids Ruin Your Life" is a great read for those of us who've pretty much decided to stay barren. It lists a bunch of studies that show that having children isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, you're going to have some amazing times with that adorable germ machine, but you're probably also going to have some crazy, frustrating periods too – for the rest of your life. (As Louis CK so eloquently says, "they have your footprint at the hospital, I'm not allowed to let you die."). Which also means, unless you're Ayelet Waldman, having babies is probably going to affect your relationship with your partner, too. 

This isn't to say that I don't think people should have kids. Or that I'm a baby hater. I'd love to be an aunt. And my friends with children know that I'd usually rather play with their lil' dudes than hang with the boring adults at parties. But I'm just not interested in changing my lifestyle or my relationships with my partner to bring offspring into the world. At least for now (and time will run out soon, should I change my mind), I love being an old maid.

Image by Jason DeRusha via Flickr


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