We don't know each other, but I'm guessing you could use a day off. Some of you are gonna read this and think, "I can't afford to take a day off!" and I understand that and am sorry and in case no one says this to you, good on you for working as hard as you do. I'm talking to those of you who have been careful with sick days and holidays for the whole year, and would really benefit from letting loose tomorrow. Here are some reasons why you should live all your Ferris Bueller dreams out.
1. Lying is fun.
It's one of the best legal rushes out there. Sure, you could tell your work the truth, but where's the challenge in that? Raise the stakes by telling a fib or two. Extra points if a keyboard with barf sounds is somehow involved. Are two references to Ferris Bueller's Day Off a little self-indulgent? That's the point, numb nuts.
2. You work hard.
Probably. No one is gonna die if you're out for one day. Unless you're a doctor. Then maybe. Hmmm...
3. You'll work harder and be so much nicer on Monday.
If you're not, maybe you're just always a dick. Consider examining that.
4. Do people even get that much shit done on Fridays?
I think not. It's always "I have to leave early for mumble mumble mumble..." and everyone is thinking about the weekend anyway. Why not just start it early and feel like you're in charge of your own miserable life for once. Get out there and do all the things those grinning idiots in stock photos are always doing.
5. Weekday adventures are a special kind of fun.
You can go to a museum or ride a bus line from end to end (fun fact: we get a lot of pitches about this activity) with the added fun of doing it in the day time, with (maybe) less crowds and (maybe) sunshine. If you and the sun aren't the best of friends, go to a movie — there's like a bajillion new releases this week and matinee prices make you feel like a rich bitch because you can spring for candy!
6. Being spontaneous feels good.
Haven't you seen romantic comedies? Doing something in the moment is cool and makes you more like Jennifer Aniston or a person with a motorcycle. If you really do decide to call out of work tomorrow, you won't have any time to build up the day in your mind. You'll just wake up and go and it'll be exciting that way.
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