7 Tips on Sharing a Sidecar from an SF Etiquette Pro

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Transportation in San Francisco is full of challenging situations: BART cushions with mysterious stains, bike lanes that disappear and reappear, that terrifying tow pound in the Dogpatch. Now that SF-based rideshare service Sidecar has introduced Shared Rides, a super-affordable way to get around town because you’re matched with a nearby rider heading your way and split the cost of the ride with them, one of those San Francisco problems has been solved. But sharing a ride with a stranger can get a little awkward.

We talked to Jamye Divila, house manager of a major San Francisco theater and someone who’s had to deal with her share of delicate and unpleasant situations. She gave her expert etiquette advice on seven awkward rideshare scenarios to make sure your next experience with Sidecar’s Shared Rides is as comfortable as it is affordable and convenient.

WHAT IF you want a quiet ride, and the other rider is super-chatty?

Well, silence is golden, and you should not feel obligated to have a meaningful conversation or make a new bestie with a stranger. But in any situation with strangers, I’m always the first to introduce myself. I would start a conversation but stop if the other person wasn’t returning that conversation. Also, if you are the person who doesn’t want to talk, you should feel free to say you’re working on your phone, or reading a book, or that you just don’t feel up to a conversation. Better to be honest than just rude! 

WHAT IF you’re matched with an annoying backseat driver who insists on a “shortcut” or that they know the “right way”?

This is always an annoying situation, whether it involves a stranger or your friend. The best thing to do is to stay out of it, because it’s between the driver and the other person. If it becomes a fight, then you can step in with your opinion. In any case, people should never, ever insist they know better than the GPS.

Note: all Sidecar drivers use GPS

WHAT IF someone gets drunk and passes out on your shoulder? 

I always find it a little entertaining when someone falls asleep on me, but it can also be very unpleasant. I would probably just tap them on the shoulder and say, “You know, you’re kind of hurting my shoulder. Would you mind leaning over to the window?” If they are completely passed out, you should feel free to gently nudge them over to the window. You shouldn’t feel obligated to be their pillow.

WHAT IF a passenger asks for your number? 

OK, this question comes with a couple of scenarios. If they’re trying to hit on you, it’s fine to be honest. A simple “That is really sweet, but I just don’t feel it. Would love to be friends, though.” If they continue, it’s acceptable to say, “You’re totally creeping me out.”

The second scenario is if they think you’re cool, and they want to hang out. In this case, your response should be dictated by whatever you’re comfortable with. I always have an e-mail address that I don’t really care about and that doesn’t have my personal info attached to it, so if I might be interested in hanging out with them, I’d give them that, but never my phone number.

WHAT IF a passenger is eating, oh, a smelly burrito or chicken tikka masala? 

I’m a big fan of people asking first if it’s OK and giving others the option to say yes or no. But if they don’t, I would roll down the window. If it was really stinky, I’d say, “Would you mind putting your food away? I am feeling a little carsick.” But people usually respond to politeness. 

WHAT IF three people have to share the backseat?

If you’re a smaller person, or shorter, or younger, it’s polite to offer to ride in the middle. This will make the entire situation less awkward. If the front seat’s open, you can always ride shotgun. Realize who you are, and be proud of it. 

WHAT IF someone farts in the car?

Oh God. First of all, I would have an internal giggle. Then I would just ignore it. If it became a problem involving consecutive farts that smelled horrible, I would politely ask the rider, “Can you roll down your window, and I’ll roll down mine? Then I don’t have to be as uncomfortable as I am right now.”