The Baseball Gods see all and demand everything.
So, just as you placed that spoon under your pillow in grade school to pray for a snow day, you’ve got to appease the deities that be during this World Series.
If – and only if – all San Franciscans complete the following "arbitrary" rituals, the Giants are sure to top the Royals. Worship accordingly.
Lucky Socks
Everyone already has a pair of lucky socks. How to recognize them? They are the most disgusting, oldest pair in the drawer. It is imperative that these socks be worn this evening and for the rest of the series. Washing instructions: DO NOT WASH.
Willie Mays
Wherever you are, it behooves you to face the direction of the Willie Mays statue at AT&T Park. Invoke his spirit in whatever faith to which you subscribe.
Orange October
Good juju requires that you only eat orange foods until the end of the Series. Oranges, carrots, and Halloween candy are staples, but feel free to use food coloring – if you dare test the omniscience of the deities, that is.
"Royals"
Wait, you haven’t deleted Lorde’s “Royals” from your iTunes library? You are the reason we lost game two, and you are a sinner in the hands of an angry god.
Smoke 'em out
Every time Tim Lincecum smokes pot to calm his frayed nerves, we too must toke. How do we know if Tim is smoking? Believe us, we know.
These are but a few of the tasks with which the lords of the sport have charged us. Each of us has our own individual “superstitious” tics, and these are our personal crosses to bear. They should be executed quietly and nervously, like the counting of rosary beads. Share them, if you will, in the comments. For lo, if we win, it will be good.
Original image via Thinkstock
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