Sex and fear are well known bedfellows at the world’s largest producer of BDSM pornography: SF’s own Kink.com.
Our terrors and desires are equally at home in the company’s Mission headquarters, the historic, 100 year-old Armory. This veritable castle on 14th and Mission is appropriately home to all manner of things that go bump in the night… from porn shoots to a very special spectacle this month.
From now until November 1st, Kink has pried opened the gates of hell — or rather granted access to the bowels of its basement, full of studio spaces and dungeons. Here, where the walls between this world and the next break down, daring guests can experience “Hell In The Armory,” the first of its kind erotic haunted house.
We experienced the thrill ride first hand, entering the mammoth fortress on 14th street to a friendly but foreboding lounge area in the cavernous main hall. Here, among adventurous couples and the generally curious, seductive guides summoned us deep into the maze of the Armory.
We’re happy to report that there are no “sexy nurses” or “slutty pumpkins” in sight. Instead: expect full frontal nudity, terrifying costumes, rollicking guides, scintillating séances, and plenty of gorgeous gore. Mad doctors, crazed contortionists, and sacrilegious nuns are all par for the course.
“We know that many people find Kink’s films scary, so we wanted to have a little fun with that,” said Andrew Harvill, the event’s producer. To create the tour, the porn company partnered with San Francisco’s legendary Vau de Vire Society, a “subcultural circus” with a penchant for the extreme.
“The Armory building itself is actually haunted, so setting up a real haunted house tour using our dungeons and sets was a natural fit.” Depending on your kink, it’s a titillating mix of arousing and frightening. Harvill cites slasher films like Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th as inspiration, and it shows. Over a full hour, you’ll find yourself in bawdy saloons, blood splattered bedrooms, and craven jungles.
“The two emotions, fear and sex, are inextricably linked.” Havill continues, “We wanted to play off that and offer people a truly old school scare in an unexpected setting.” In this circle of hell, screams of terror and delight are indistinguishable.
The gates of “Hell in the Armory” are open until November 1, when they swing shut (until, we hope, next year).
For tickets and other information, visit HellIntheArmory.com