It would be insane to produce a series of restaurant reviews, no matter how ridiculous the premise, out of the Bay Area and not hit Chez Panisse (an Internet dictionary reveals that the name roughly translates to “house of flat bread,” which I’d be super-into regardless of reputation). Alice Waters’ Berkeley restaurant essentially invented California cuisine and has been named one of the best restaurants in America as well as one of the top 50 restaurants in the world. The menu changes daily based on what’s fresh and in-season, using only local, organic, and sustainably farmed ingredients.
Isla and I took little Mila Allwood (favorite food: “regular orange fish [salmon?], because orange is a great color for a fish”) to Chez Panisse in order to get an unbiased, honest critique of some of the best food in the world. It’s a good thing we took her too. She insisted that only girls could be food reviewers because boys “would just punch everything and kick the food.” Maybe she’s right; no food was punched in the making of this article.
Bread
We started off with ever-the-hit: bread. Mila was worried about what kind of bread it would be and explained that she “sometimes needs help rubbing the butter.” No surprises here, though. After seven of these reviews, we can all be pretty confident that bread is the best thing in the entire world to a little kid.
Beverages
Mila ordered the apple juice, and oh my God, was she into it as well as totally accurate in her account of how apple juice is made.
Given the occasion, she decided to try her first sip of sparkling water. This one went over…uh…less well, hence her spitting it back into the beautifully engraved glass.
Celery Soup with Crème Fraîche
The first dish to come out was a celery soup. At first glance, Mila was unimpressed, and it took some convincing to get her to try the green soup.
Crab and Little Gems Salad with Herb Vinaigrette
This crab salad was amazing. Unfortunately, when your young brain wholeheartedly believes that crab is chicken, it’s not good chicken.
Rocket Salad with Prosciutto, Almonds, and Parmesan
Protein confusion struck again with this dish, but the other way around. Convinced that the prosciutto was salmon (her favorite “regular orange fish”), she was set up for extreme disappointment and threw the first piece on the table.
Grilled Beet and Endive with Sauce Gribiche
Next was a gorgeous beet salad that we hyped up by telling her it was a rainbow salad (that approach had worked so well for the soup).
Grilled Chicken Leg
The first main dish was a grilled chicken leg. Despite the ever-growing pile of flatwear we were collecting on the table, Mila tried to cut through it with a spoon.
Crispy Rock Fish with Celery Root Puree and Meyer Lemon Sauce
Despite the non-orange color, this fish was Mila’s favorite. She was so into it, she wanted to take her own food photo.
Scallops with Mashed Potatoes and Herbs
The fish was a hard dish to follow, and Mila had a hard time figuring out what scallops even are.
Bucatini alla Palina with Cauliflower, Saffron, Currants, Onions, and Toasted Bread Crumbs
I was sure that any kind of pasta would be a hit, but Chez Panisse made the grave mistake of putting vegetables in the pasta.
Hazelnut Stracciatella with Bittersweet Chocolate Sauce
We ended our meal with an insanely good ice cream dessert. Before even giving it a taste, Mila started pouring sugar on it.
If you like this combo of kids + Chez Panisse, consider donating to or volunteering at The Edible Schoolyard Project, a program created by Alice Waters to bring "edible education" into the core curriculum of all schools..